I had to leave many family members, friends, clergy, and others behind. The Report of the APA Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family. (Washington, DC. American Psychological Association. (1996)) states that many of the people one would expect to help the victim leave abuse, actually hinder the exit. That includes family, friends, agencies, the clergy, and more. I was faced with the dilemma of who to trust and who to be wary around. It was a daunting task.
Eventually I developed a test. It is quite simple:
In my experiences many individuals let me down and hurt me. I have learned that the most important indication of their character and feelings towards others is shown in their humility, accountability, and willingness to make restitution and amends. Unless a person accepts the outcome of their actions, they will always act in selfish, anti-social, other destructive ways. These kinds of people are dangerous.
Therefore, no matter what the crisis or trial is that you are suffering from, carefully test the individuals "helping" you. Many of them may actually make your situation worse. Test the spirits carefully and often.
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